How to be an actor - First installation

In the wake of an interview I did with Tommy, in which we talked about why famous actors such as Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Daniel Day Lewis, Jack Nicolson, Johnny Depp and others act so strangely, which occasionally sent me into hysterical fits of laughter, particularly when Tommy described the frustrating way in which a lot of actors get really emotional about little insignificant things and then became suddenly distracted by a couple complaining about unintentionally feeding a flock of pigeons from their crumbling sandwiches and said, imitating the volcanic voice of our father when angry, "That really makes me mad!" This led of course to us imagining different scenarios in which we became apocalyptically upset at passersby. Ergo, Tommy: "Nobody looks at me that way!" This - probably because it imitated the sound of our father's voice when furious, but was entirely removed from that threatening context, producing an instinctive flinch of anxiety immediately pacified and so resulting in a kind of ecstatic relief - was very funny, and I started to laugh to the point of tears.

Anyway. In the wake of this, we talked about the way his career has been tending lately. What he's been up to. Where he's been.

What would obviously be very interesting would be to make a script or play or book or pamphlet of an interview between you (Tommy) and me, which would slowly reveal our personalities, as we talk about acting and not acting and what each of those things mean. What does it mean to "not act." When I used to tell you, "It's like you're acting right now" you became very upset. It's weird that you're acting but trying your best not to act - or at least not to act like the actor by whom you are surrounded each time you go to an audition or rehearsal, etc.

"You're trying not to act like actors. Does that mean you're still acting? Or where does that place you on the spectrum of the real versus the fake? Are you, possibly, less real than they are, since you are trying (and are apparently able) to act unlike these "actors"?" (Phew. Intellectual exercise. No offense.)


When you tell me these things (what it's like in a waiting room before an audition, say), it's as if it's therapeutic for you, as if you're cleansing yourself of the artificiality of the other guys who are so obviously "acting," or "not being real."


For examples, I loved it when you talked about how the guy who called you a prince was being as real and genuine as he could, but that his reality was entirely artificial.

I also had a weird feeling when you imitated him (that is, acted like a guy who's acting in real life, making obsessive eye contact, etc.). I was thinking, "Shit, it may be bullshit that he's acting and calling me a prince and everything, but it feels good to be called a prince, to be looked at in the eye pseudo-warmly, to be convincingly congratulated for being me. I'd rather that, I guess, than be treated with the the apparent indifference of someone who's just "being real."" It reminded me of something from David Foster Wallace. He's talking about the difficult transactions he has with wait staff. You go up to a counter at a coffee shop, say, and the girl behind the counter gives you a big cartoon smile: "Hi! How can I help you today?!" And you recoil with distaste at how artificial she is. (The way I sort of recoiled from the frosty bleached smiles of the platinum blond flight attendants from LA on the return trip from Samoa.) So that's no good. But then the next morning you get the other employee, who's clearly had a bad night or bad life, and you get the "real thing," the flat, unenthusiastic, "Hey, what can I get you?" And you think, "Hey, would a little enthusiasm kill you, you fucking bitch?" "What a mess," is Wallace's conclusion.


Any responses to this?



Moving on:



1. What it's like to try out for a Gilette advertisement.
The ridiculous, uncreative Tiger Woods scenario. (I feel bad for Tiger Woods, being dragged into yet another commercial because people now associate him with innocence and grass and balls flying through the air.) The "Unfurrow your brow...okay, good. Thanks." The other guys with accents and chiseled bodies. "He-llo."

2. Waiting rooms. The guys looking at one another, checking each other out. Reading their script. Pretending to read. Acting like they're reading. Acting out their reading. Girls looking into the air.

3. Not telling you when to go, leaving that up to you.

4. The calling card greeting. "Hey, Adam, great to meet you." Who are they imitating? Who are they "trying to be"? Someone in particular? To what extent do "normal" people try to act like someone else? Aren't these actor guys just taking the "personality" question to its logical extreme by blatantly "acting," blatantly trying to "be someone" that they aren't, or aren't yet? (If everyone is acting out the life of their favorite character from fiction, as I think Bellow or someone said... Mailer, also, claimed that he was one of the thousands of American men who'd spent his entire life running for president.) Is it refreshing to know that someone is clearly acting? There's no deception. You can see it. It's comforting. At least this person is not sneaking one past me - he's acting, he's less than me, I am being real, I have a sturdy personality that supports me, etc.

5. Wizard's First Rule.
Strange comfort of reading and listening to those lines: "I've never felt...so alone." There's no soul searching there. No attempt at destroying yourself to expand your consciousness, breaking down the muscle that it might grow. Your hilarious bit about "I know, I know, shhhhh, your father was a philistine and a little mean and didn't approve of your interest in comic books and fantasy novels as a kid, but you don't have the balls to consider your relationship with him in frank psychological confession so you're retreating into fantasy yet again, I know, shhhh, I know." The idea of you playing the Wizard, however. And the loot that you could make from it. Jesus. You as the Wizard. Saying those lines, with the consciousness you have of how cheesy and shallow they are.

Stopping here for now. Add what you will.